A DOSE of books? No.

When you enter a library or a bookstore, there's always a huge section of ''Self-help Books''. With the number of books piled up it's plain evident how many people are into reading self-help books. Once a person gets over the fiction phase they do turn to explore the self-help area, too. When I was young, not very young but let's just say about 2-3 years ago, I thought self help books were medication. I thought that one could just pick up a book about being happy, read it, memorise the steps and then be happy for the rest of his life. Okay, now I feel silly thinking about it. But that's alright, I guess. They just sound like that. I mean, you know how they show in movies that when you go to a psychologist who is expensive he gives you a book as the first step! So that just planted various ideas in my mind and I joined the dots. But then think about it. Reading a book can't solve your problems just like praying to God a day before your result won't solve your problems either! So, continuing the example of my pea-brain-on-work, driven by the craze of watching my dad read such books, once in a bookstore, I picked up 'Eat Pray Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's not exactly a self help book but it follows the same footsteps, somewhat. So I read the back cover, and Oh. My. God. I was awe-inspired. I mean, it seemed wonderful. A woman discovering herself and all. So fascinating! I bought the book, obviously. I was ecstatic. So I opened the book, and the most hilarious thing happened, I closed it and it went back on my bookshelf in the next 5 days. The reason being, I GOT BORED. And never again did I touch that book. Never. I felt doomed in the field of literature. I felt like I was incapable of understanding the deep essence of life and the way out of the maze which was printed in the book. I felt like if I ever landed in a real problem ahead in life I would never be able to sort it out and eventually lose all hope. Why, because I could not decipher a self-help book.
A week ago, though I went back to that book. I wouldn't say why because it's not relevant here. I just opened it and read the first chapter with a light thought of wanting to READ the book, not to sort out any problem but to simply read whatever was present. And  I did, and this time, it's not boring. In fact, I am finally getting my concept cleared about what self-help books really are. They are not a bunch of solutions to math problems that help you unravel the spiral of your confusion and deranged life. They are just books that explain. They simply make you understand. The book that I wrote today, how the hell can it really solve your problem? I am not from 'Phil of the Future', am I? So when you read these books you basically just read the basic. It's like learning 2+2=4 all over again, except that this time you will learn it as (1+1)+(1+1)=4. That simple. When I read 'Eat Pray Love', it's not like all my worries got sorted and suddenly I was aware of the map of my life lying right across the table ready to be unmasked. While reading the book, I learnt the basics of everything. Because all of us, if we can breathe the same air, drink the same water, function with the help of same body parts, then we can also learn the same lessons, right? Doesn't mean that what I read today in that book has to help me today. It might help me later or maybe never. But it will always add a drop in the ocean.

What we all seek!

What's happiness?
Happiness lies in the eyes of the beholder. Happiness isn't something that we face all the time. It is not a hard-rock-never-changing emotion. It is something that is present in all the little things.
What is happiness for me?
It's when I get those 500 bucks in the starting of every month. It's when my brother and I laugh our ass out. It's when my dad gets me clothes of his choice. It's when my mom talks to me about her day. It's when someone tells me they love me and I know they mean it. It's when I realise the truth behind someone's lie. It's when I get wet in the first monsoon rain. It's when someone who drifted apart smiles at me. It's when I eat chocolate after a looooong time. It's when my dad talks of me with pride. It's when I lie down next to my parents. It's when I get something I have been longing too. It's when I finish a heart-melting book. It's when someone hugs me tight just when I need it. It's when someone assures me that they won't leave me no matter how alone I think I am. It's when my bestfriend tells me she loves how I am. It's when someone comes and says they missed me. It's when someone says sorrry to make me feel better. It's when I get new clothes. It's when I watch a romantic movie. It's when I finish a jaw-dropping Tom Cruise movie. It's when I day-dream and escape to a whole new fantasy. It's when someone compliments me that I am tall. :P It's when I scream with joy. It's when I watch someone make an effort for me. It's when I have coffee in pouring rain.  It's when my brother promises to keep my secret. It's when my dad makes me laugh. It's when I watch two dogs play. It's when I watch two bestfriends unite because of me. It's when someone just looks at my face and asks me what happened. It's when someone yells at me for my mistake. It's when I look at a people and memories come back fluttering. It's when I re-read my old diaries. It's when I look at my mom and remember how she loves me without any demands or expectations. She loves me just for me. It's when I put on my favorite jacket. It's when I run and scream to someone. It's when I am uber excited for someone else's achievement. It's when I look at myself in the mirror and feel strong. It's when I do good for someone who has been terrible to me in the past. It's when I am laughing. It's when I feel the butterflies every single time and don't get bored. It's when I blush. It's when I get a Math sum! It's when I write something nostalgic. It's when I listen to 'Dance Again' by JLo and start to smile. It's when I figure something out after a lot of confusion..
And this list is so never going to end. Happines is just something that we find in small packages. It's every flower that counts not necessarily the whole bouquet.

''I think I'll like that.'' ''What if you don't?''

Sometimes when a change occurs around you, you won't really be the first one to discover it. Unless you really sit to scrutinise the tinniest of details, there won't be any noticing. Change. They say it's the only permanent thing in life. It's that one thing you can be sure of. It's the one thing that cannot be predicted.
But it is capable of causing the greatest of devastation and sometimes it creates magic. Whichever you get, it's your luck. Sometimes you desperately are in a need of a change. It's the only thing you want and you don't know how you're going to achieve it. It seems like eternity waiting for what you want to happen. And the one day, lightening strikes, there's thunder, gravity reverses, the sun rises from the west and YES, that's when you know things are changing. You look at yourself in the mirror and smile but you can't. You try again, and another failure. This continues until you realise the reason. It IS the change you wanted, but it just is NOT what you want anymore. You shuffle through old papers and juggle through your pea-brain, reconfirming that it's what you wanted. Affirmation. Yet, what is the problem? And then the it hits you, just like someone punched you in the face to help you look better. Clearer. You look around and realise that you really did always want it but you never thought it would be this way. A-Z it's exactly what you wanted but you don't like it one bit. Because, all that time while you thought you were living each day in hell-on-earth you had grown yourself to adjust to it. Human nature. You never realised how much fun you had in what you allegedly claimed to be 'hell'. Because now you realise that life is not a box of sweet smelling flowers. It is only an empty box and it's your job to fill it up. But you still can't smile. Because now it feels even worse to know that you got exactly what you wanted but you don't want it anymore. In fact, you never wanted it. You just thought that you did. Sometimes, the hardest part is accepting the change. And now you know that.