For You and I are past our Dancing Days

"Quit yelling at me!"
"Seriously? Now I'm yelling at you?"
"Oh, cut the crap! Get out of here!"
"You wish. This is my house as well, by the way!", and those were his last words that Sam heard as she flee from here house, in search of some isolation.

Her mind was exhausted and tired of quarrelling with him. She was a strong woman. But on the inside she was still a marshmallow, she was well aware.

It had been a good 3 years to their marriage. But now things had started to fall apart and take their own separate ways. 3 years ago, she imagined a blissful life, with two kids, a house in the suburbs with white picket fence around it.
3 years from then, right now, she had none of them, except a falling apart marriage.

Everyday she cursed herself for being so naive and ending up in this madhouse. But she loved him; so much, that only she knew how it was shredding her into tiny pieces.

As her flick landed on her right eye, it blurred her vision..

She picked up her hand to push it aside but it did not move. Her entrails were tearing apart from the inside. Nearly 36 hours since she last fed herself a grain.

She new she loved him and she knew he did too.

Her mother would say when she was young, ''Don't worry, honey. It doesn't matter how terribly things are going. If you think you're right then you probably are. Don't give up when you know it's going to work fine.''
That is the only argument that prevented her from walking out every time. If only she could stop herself from listening to her mother.

She heard the rustling of leaves behind her. Her mouth twinged into a knowing smile. It was him. He was here, like always, to bring her back home.
"Come home. You need to eat, baby'', he whispered. And she found a tear prickle down her cheek, already.

She turned around.

His elfin beauty is what attracted her at the first place, and today was no exception to it.

Old Habits Die Hard

I am a total Bollywood freak. I will admit it. Since childhood, I have been watching Bollywood masala movies and I still do! I just love them. So much drama, dialogues, tears, lame comebacks! I could even watch the melodramatic ones like 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham' over and over again. Sad, right?
But overtime, as I have matured and grown, my perspective towards them has changed. I still love those movies to death and would any day choose Bollywood over Hollywood, but with this growing pea-sized brain, it was just recently that I realised how unrealistic bollywood movies are. Earlier people would tell me the same, but I always snubbed them away. No one says anything to bollywood movies in front of me.
But now, I see beyond the facade. For example, the movie 'London Paris New York' which just released in March. Hello! PEOPLE DO NOT MEET FOR 3 DAYS AND FALL IN LOVE TO GET HAPPILY MARRIED. Not even impossibly possible! And people know it.
But then why do they still watch them? The reason i still watch them, even after the curtain has been drawn, is because watching them takes me to a whole new world. A world where everything is somehow happy in the end, where the good guy ALWAYS wins, evil loses, and where nothing is impossible. And I'm guessing it's the same for everyone.
Not because people hate reality. Certainly not!
But because sometimes, it's nice to escape into someone else's world that is not so practical. And much more easy.

Courtesy: Parth Shukla

Well, here's a story narrated and composed by my brother, who is 10 years old. And I had absolutely no role to play in it.

A SCHOOL TRIP TO A ZOO

One day, a school went to a picnic. While they were having their lunch, they were sitting a little away from the cage of the bear but then suddenly the door of the Bear's cage swung open and the bear came out! Almost all the people in the zoo saw the bear coming as the bear was in the middle of the zoo. But the teachers did not know that the children were eating near the cage. The bear came towards a boy named Suresh. He was very scared and just fled for his life. Then when he used his presence of mind, he remembered a story in which a child acted like he was dead in front of the bear so that he could save his life. So the boy suddenly stopped and then just acted like he slipped. The bear saw him and then the boy fell down and acted like he was dead but it did not work for him. He again started to run and then when he was very tired, he was luckily just in front of the bear's cage. The bear stopped and thought the prey was in front of him so he ran towards him and just at the right moment, when the boy saw the bear running towards him, he jumped to the other side. The bear did not see this and slipped into the cage and then when he fell down the boy used his presence of mind and closed the door! All the people of the zoo admired the boy's work of bravery, the boy was given a gift from the zoo community and a national award for his brave work to save the life of many people.

An Old Man in the City

I walk the old, narrow, ditch-laned streets, on my own, surprised to see that they are still the same compared to the hip highways, which my driver takes me through. I pass by a street-walker, engrossed in my own thoughts, I bang into him. I am surprised to see how cynical people are these days. He shouts back rudely at me. I stare back blankly maybe looking a little grim, not because I am really embarrassed, but it’s just that these things are as old to me as my black hair. I see women running around on the road, most of them rushing up for their offices. I recall how my wife used to always stay in the house, or rather the kitchen. I entered late night, she would be cooking dinner. I left early morning, she would be cooking breakfast. Sometimes I wondered whether she even lived in the kitchen or not. How naïve I was, thinking of such lame jokes on my wife, never appreciating her presence. But now that she is gone, long lost forever, that I realize how much I ill-treated her and if she would be alive, she would have slaughtered me by now, but that is just a humor provoking thought.

I have to cross the road, but there is so much traffic. Roads and cars must have exceeded the human population by inches. I ask, why cannot we reduce it? But who am I to ask. In my youth, I myself was a man of honor and pride, who desired fame, car and bungalow. All influential thoughts. But there is no shortage of soft hearts today. A man in his young days just walked over to help me and escorted me across the road. I am greatly thankful to him. I wonder why all cannot be like this. Although this is seldom appreciated, but it gives you a rest sometimes. But on the contrary if all become good, there will be no space for tolerance, ignorance, and above all---- appreciation for the good. And all of these are important values of one’s life.

My view is getting dim. Is it this old man’s eye-sight or has the sun set? It is all getting blur and things are fading out. I tripped over a hedge, or maybe a piece of wood. And soon before I know, I pass out, not just to sleep but to continue sleeping forever, in the arms of the almighty. On which maybe someday all will have faith in. 

New Age Tantra: FOODAHOLIC??

Are you a foodie?! Well, if not then you better start to be, before someone calls you ‘outdated’. Latest gossips between women are always about the newest restaurants and foreign trips, which makes it so very obvious that food is a ‘hot’ topic to discuss over.

Restaurants today, have the buffet system and people always over load their tummies while hogging on the delicious starters and tasty deserts without even caring about the main course. Main course is like so common! Now that is what always rings a bell in our minds. Hogging over starters is usually nothing until it arrives to the main course and we start thinking about calories. Then the planning starts of the next morning gym hour, but that accomplishment and satisfaction is hardly ever received because we never want to sacrifice our Sunday morning beauty sleep. Such is a common instinctive today. ‘It’s our age now, how does it even matter?’ is what the adults use to defend themselves but that also affects their kids who learn the same habits as their parents. Believe it or not, but this is the bitter truth.

You can never afford to be too rich and too thin at the same time, and accepting it is a challenge.

Being fat does not mean that you lead yourself to risky dieting schedules. Being a little plum and healthy is always required for kids. Statistics state that the children are indirectly forced to curse themselves for being fat by their surrounding behavior. While this is known to a thousand, ignorant world yet does not change.

Where we consume so much food, a million starve and crave for it. Why is it always so that we tend to realize things late? But it’s never too late. If we want we can still help the world and help ourselves too. Every change requires a beginning and that beginning requires a change in thought. Apart from not wasting food we should also try to have good eating habits. For example, having a healthy diet is essential than your glass of cad-B.

Media today surely knows its audience. How better can they make our decisions than ourselves and that makes everything else very obvious. Well, I don’t say that media has a negative role in our lives, but we sometimes tend to let it play such a hideous character without being aware of it. Beverages like ‘diet cola’ and substitutes such as ‘sugar free’ use media to make- believe us that it is the most non-hazardous product, even though at the back of our minds somewhere we know that it is not.

Physical activities play a vital role in a student’s life. It not only keeps them physically fit but also mentally. A student’s life can be very hectic but a little time outside the house always helps. Health and physical knowledge is way too important than regular gossips. It makes a child more aware of himself than he would get by reading a bunch of pages loaded with information. Physical activity refreshes a child’s brain and also helps him in classroom studies.

Lack of concentration is a major diversion in students today. They are usually physically present but mentally their mind is somewhere else. This can be due to many reasons, but all indirectly lead to the same ‘food’ issue. So we must all keep in mind that even little things matter a lot, especially in the case of health.

Everything in life is important, may it be the food we eat, and it certainly should not be ignored. As we always say ‘NOBODY’S PERFECT’, but who knows taking care of small things might make us someday!

You know what they say..

''TOO OFTEN, WE DON'T REALISE WHAT WE HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE''

Everyone wants the past back, don't they? The beautiful memories stuck in the moment, the laughs, the giggles, the singing, the screaming, the hugs, the fights, holding hands, crying yourself to sleep, doing the wrong things knowing you will regret it, the movies, the embarrassing situations, bitchy cat-fights, being the Queen-bee, sleeping for hours, having crazy parties with games like passing-the-parcel, wanting to grow up. And now that we are grown up, we miss the past. So very much, that we find our self in search of it, if only for a split second.  

By my Bed

Igniting the lamp by my bed,
I sway beside and ahead.
Marching up and down the steps,
His journey doesn't seem to end.
The tap water gushes and goes away,
So hot in this season of may.
This wait is another ship of thoughts,
It's not freedom but him I sought.
The lamp drains out and light I see,
Not his arrival but dawn it be.
I hear some sound, sky deep;
Not his voice but birds, yet no sleep.
Day ends well but still no sign,
I start to wonder if he is fine.
He'd told me- be and stay ignite;
For him I'll sit by my lamp alight.

Seeing that face again..

..I was lying on my couch, it had been hours since the sun had set, everyone in the house was asleep. Yet, it just did not feel like day-end. This was happening too often lately. A rather exhausting day, coming home from work, fighting the urge to slam the door shut and return to my own world. Instead, sitting there, amidst the curious faces, and having to answer those aimless questions.
''How was your day?'', mother would ask. I wish I could escape the lingering boredom that made its way through every word that came out of her mouth. I'd think, Even you know the answer will never be different, mom. I'd just nod and pretend I had no problem with everything in my life. Pretend that it was perfect. Because maybe, someday, I hoped it would.

This was another monotonous night. Another night of pointless sitting on the couch and sketching away to let the darkest of dreams evade my sleep and pour themselves on a rough sheet of paper. But it had been different recently. Altered, varied, distinct!
Countless nights, that I had spent sketching that same face. Slightly curved near the chin, a bold face, with a goatee that resembled someone I knew, someone I had known in the past, but where was he now? I shuddered at the thought of this face. Although I had sketched it out several times there was something about imagining it which creeped me. Instinctively, to escape the pain, I would always end up plotting it down on paper.

A sudden shimmer entered my eye, immediately I shut them. The night had already passed in my own company.
Life was too far-fetched. Everyone got out of high school, met a great guy, who earned well. Fell in love. Love. A certain ache that word caused. I avoided it, trying not to break my flow of thoughts.
They got married, had a kid, and continued a blissful life. But for me, it was different..

''Up so early?'', mom's voice drifted out of the kitchen, looking at me with half her eyes closed. I stared. Yes, that's what I did. As a matter of fact, that's all I did. Since always. It didn't bother her anymore like it did when I was younger. By now she was used to watching that pain flicker in my eyes, unaware of what it was, or because of whom it was caused.
Or maybe she knew. Didn't they say, moms always knew? Whatever. How would that help, anyway?
I gave no answer. Just looked away. She knew. It was another night. Another night when, just like every other frequent night, insomnia had taken over me, left me unaided, on that rugged couch. She walked away. She walked away. Just like everyone in my life had done so far

I wish I could laze around. But no, I got up and within the next 35 minutes, I was bathed, dressed up neatly for another usual day.

***

I walked into the office. Everyone was smiling. I wondered how. Holy shit. Smile. Yes, a smile, I had to manage that everyday. Otherwise I knew what results it would inflict on my course of social life, not that I had one.

The hallway was unusually crowded today, not very normal for a slow Thursday, I'd say. Trying to make my way through the huge human population, which seemed to have been clubbed on the same floor today, I turned around to check the time on the humongous office clock. BUT. I saw something else, something more beautiful, more elegant, more sober. Something even my sketches of the previous few nights could not describe that well. Standing in front of the reception, was the same bold face. The perfect curve of his chin, the very same goatee.

Adrenaline rush.

Only he could do that to me. And he was here. Here. Why was he here? Oh, I didn't care. I was loosing balance. Unconsciousness was taking over. I knew what was happening. What ached to even think of, was taking place. Again. This time, even stronger. I had tried to forget the face for too long, but now the milk had been spilt. Damage done. I was falling in love with him, again..

For every thing taken, there is always a replacement

Okay, Someone dying is the most terrible thing that can happen. Really unfortunate. I just read about Baby Falak. It's all over the news. And instantly I had tears in my eyes. A two-year old baby, succumbed to the circle of life at such a young age, already! I just hope she is at bliss right now. We all do. May her fresh soul rest in peace. Isn't it scary when something like this happens? We all know every single being on the face of earth has to bid goodbye one day. But, it's ironic how we respond to it when someone close to us passes away! No one to be blamed here. I think it's just very natural. We are humans and we certainly do possess emotions which are no way under our control. But we can all try. Instead of looking at it like a tragic event, we must understand that NOW A NEW LIFE IS GOING TO BE WELCOMED. A new face is going to appear and explore this world. A new life, a new happiness for someone. Someone will become a mother and someone a father. And this will continue forever..
R.I.P. Falak. You fought rather bravely.

Like Voldemort, everyone leaves a part of themselves within someone else..

A Tribute to the Immortal..



Today was the day. It was the 13th of February. Today, this tiny, little nuclear family of ours was going to welcome a new member into it. Apparently, it was my birthday in another 5 days and he was supposed to be my birthday present! How overwhelmed can a teenager be at the fact of getting a baby bird as a birthday gift? That too a day before 14th February i.e Valentine's day. 14th February had to be his birthday! I always did want a pet and a bird seemed to be the perfect choice. Since a dog was totally out of the league. I have working parents, you know.

So with all our hearts skipping we walked into the shop. Well-lit for nighttime as it was, the melodious chirping of the birds along with the various noises created by the other animals, gushed into my ears, filling me with a sense of uncontrollable hysteria. THIS WAS IT. From today I would have a companion! Someone I could cry my heart out to at the end of the day. Someone I would leak my darkest secrets to without the fear of losing them. Someone I could talk to and about, all day long.

My eyes anxiously searched around the room. It didn't take much time before I spotted those two small birds sitting inside a silver, rusted cage. They looked beautiful. Those orange patches on their lovely yellow feathered cheeks, even the blind could not miss the sight. The crest on top of their heads just added to the beauty. Out of the two, the one at the back caught my attention. I moved a little closer to the cage in order to have a look at him. He looked so quiet, so tranquil, so content with himself. My pulses almost slowed the moment I felt his presence drift towards me from within the cage. I moved away. The shopkeeper noticed my absent-mindedness and opened the cage, he got out the one which had been dancing for so long in order to gain my diverted attention. He kept the lively one on my shoulder and I just couldn't stop grinning! After a lot of discussion we decided we would take the on perching on my shoulder. But SOMETHING pulled me back! I didn't want the silent one to be left alone. Fate could be blamed for it or maybe just a twist of events. Whatever it was, we went back home with the silent one. He just was different and his uniqueness was yet to be discovered. I felt it. Something about him appealed to me in ways that others did not comprehend, not that I expected them to. We reached home. He was so silent, so shy to come out. Maybe it was the agitation to have been brought to a new place and asked to jump around. Nevertheless, we continued to stare at him with admirable eyes, waiting for him to come out of his own mellow world so that we could be friends with him. We name him Dodo, or to be honest, I did. It was just so cute! 'Dodo' was generally used as an insult, but calling him with that name just change the whole definition. Days passed but out confidence in him never lapsed.

It worked. Our patience paid off! There comes a day in life when all of us are ready to risk landing on water. He slowly made his way out of the cage and onto my shoulders. His tiny, reticulated feet tickled me but it was euphoria that overcame everything else.  When his crest ticked the back of my neck I knew he was having fun and so was I! I felt ecstatic. Those days, I can never forget.

Today I have a baby bird sitting in my balcony with no proper nest. It's mother is all it depends on and she makes sure she lives up to it.

Dodo isn't there with us today but we all remember him. Everyone has to go one day and his time came as well. Today, when I look at that baby bird outside I want to protect it. I want to shoo away all the filthy crows that come and try to strangle it. But since I can't do much about my past, I make sure I do the right thing in my present. I will try to protect it with all my heart. This baby bird might not be there in a few weeks time and yes, I shall feel bad. But the fact that it flew away safely and is ready to face the coming adventures is what will keep me smiling! :D

I often find myself questioning, that why do we let these wild imagination skills overpower us when we know that it is far from reality. Sitting under this adorned ocean of stars there is absolutely nothing that we are getting out of it! It is so much like bringing your hopes up so high and then watching them get buried under the sand because you know they are impossible, in it's true sense.
And no, I do not talk of ambitious dreams. Dreams that will cross your path, continue to inspire you and maybe one day lead you to glory. Definitely not those. Because these dreams are actually worth every second you invest in them. They might just be more helpful than the 'wise' talk of those sermonising people, in other words, their hopeless free advice.
I speak of the tiny hopes we keep at the bottom of our hearts. The one that keeps us alive every second wishing that what we want happens.
You know how it is. An old lady sitting on her bed in the last room in an old age home wishing one of her sons might just welcome her back. A schoolboy coming late to the bus stop and still hoping that the bus hasn't gone yet.
Silly, aren't they? But moments like these create memories we cherish, and these memories create a majority part of out lives. Thus, I think I got my answer. We do not keep hoping for these little joys because we desperately want them to come true. And we certainly don't want them to shatter us when we crash and fall. But we only make them such a significant part because we know it will give us an adventure daily, it will spare us from the daily rat-race, it will make us thing wonders and then later laugh about them, it will keep us wishing for better in life and for some it will carry them forward on the road, it would make us realise what nincompoops we are and at the same time we would know what makes us the happiest. But most of all it would keep us all hoping. IT MIGHT BE OF ZILCH MEANING TOMORROW BUT TODAY IT'S WHAT MAKES OUR WORLD!

This is so new for me. Blogging. Anyway, I think why I basically started this is because, frankly, I'm bored of writing everything down and just storing it on paper. It is BORING. You write stuff down, you love it, and then just pile it up. Also, there are possibilities the book might get lost. So I think whatever I write from today I shall put it up here.
Not just for people to read. That is up to them. But for me. For my peace of mind and happiness. MIGHT JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO DAILY!

Because its evident that living on the memory of a song is impossible, looking at the scribbled pages and hoping it would return is pointless, pretending you don't care is hopeless and smiling even though you don't feel like is stupid. Somethings are understood late. But then, better late than never. To all those people who still dwell on the past and want to change it every single minute of their life, you should know, that there's noway that's happening. Ever. The past is the 'past' for a reason.

So listen to new songs and make more memories, scribble on new pages and preserve them, care for those who deserve, and smile from the inside. :)

Being hurt is never in your hands, but feeling miserable certainly is. -Mr.Smartypants

''YOUR CLOTHES SHOULD BE TIGHT ENOUGH TO SHOW YOU'RE A WOMAN BUT LOOSE ENOUGH TO SHOW YOU'RE A LADY.'' - MARILYN MONROE

BE THE CHANGE..

-dud‘Be the change you want to see’, famous lines by Mahatma Gandhi. Although today, we see the change and then want to be.

 I was driving home from a long day’s work, thinking about all the details that took place. There wasn’t much to think of but from one way comes another, and from every thought generates another.  It has now become my daily routine to drive home after work and on the way collect some things my wife asks me to. But have you ever thought that how badly this routine could be sabotaged in moments. One moment we are here, the other we could be anywhere. THIS could be my last evening driving back home in the serenity of my thoughts. Most would consider this pessimism, but I think it isn’t. It’s just the fact that with this changing world, anything is possible. Moreover, EVERYTHING is possible.  A very jolly friend of mine, who was living a perfect life till yesterday, is having a divorce today. Till yesterday I was a common desk-job working employee and TODAY I look down to the same people I used to work with.. 

With this generation’s opinion difference, technology is taking up a wide space in our life. This has occurred due to the past 15 years of bonding between man and its intelligence.  Where cell phones were a luxury, they are now considered a necessity.  And we have all seen this drastic change with our own eyes. Ranging from changes in mindset of women and children to the hazardous issues of environmental concerns, changes don’t seem to end; and we don’t seem to care either. Why, because change is the only permanent thing in life.

In the midst of my train of thoughts, something buzzed in my pocket. It was my cell phone; I had received a message from one of my colleagues saying something on the recent news coverage about Anna Hazare and his fight against corruption. Innumerable times I’ve read that message but still it falls on my deaf ears. Yes, my deaf ears because somewhere I, as a citizen am also responsible for corruption.  When I have to catch an auto-rickshaw, if the rickshaw-wala refuses to take me for a short distance I would rather pay him extra than walk till there. Does this not lead to corruption? It very much does, but seldom have any of us contemplated about it.

My car halted. I had reached home. Back home after another parade of thoughts. Back to my children and family. This is life and this is the world we live in. Where petrol and onion prices tend to fluctuate, where pizza reaches home faster than the ambulance, where the one’s guilty are given a life and the one’s for a good cause are threatened to be shot in public, where if a country’s economy fluctuates the rest of the world starts to presume its fall. Nonetheless, it’s changing all very rapidly. And as for my thoughts, they will remain trapped within me just the way everyone else’s do in their minds; because change doesn’t always mean issues and ideologies being passed along at global level, it also refers to the domestic ones around us.  

Hence the name

Why would I name my Blog as such? Well, it's because of this poem I wrote. Which I totally adore. Its called Learning to Live. And it inspires me. :)

I am letting down some hopes,

I am climbing up some ropes.

I am giving someone a chance,

Or watching them suffer in a trance.

I am kneeling down to pray,

And asking someone close to stay.

I am running around in fright,

because it has been a terrible night.

I am smiling at the flowers,

Because they are closer than the stars.

I am bidding people goodbye,

In hope to believe its a lie.

I am jumping because I am happy,

I am smiling because I cried.

I am apologising because its polite,

I am sweet because its right.

I am admiring people who fought,

Because forgiving is the way its sought.

I am loving as there's no end,

Because its pointless to pretend.

I am practicing the right ways to give,

I am learning, learning to live.