Love and it's Distinct Paths

Over the years, these fictional couples have all taught me something or the other.

Nathan and Haley taught me that if you're the luckiest person alive and the person you love decides to love you back, don't let them go. Getting through it all, together, is the key.

Lucas and Peyton taught me that you cannot hide from your feelings. No matter how deep you bury them.

Mark and Lexie taught me that sometimes time runs out. It can be too late. So if you love someone, don't keep it in, let it out. Even if there's a slight chance of them loving you back.

Meredith and Derek taught me that, hey, life's a series of tragedies but that doesn't excuse for missing out on the happy times. That it's better to be extraordinary together than being ordinary apart.

Alex and Izzie taught me that being tough comes along with being screwed up. And in some way or the other we are all screwed up. That people who claim to love you will do horrible things to you but that doesn't make them horrible. That life will kick you in the teeth more often than you expect.

Cristina and Owen taught me the real meaning of loving each other for better or worse, in sickness or health.

Rhett and Scarlett taught me that even the most deathless love can wear out. That it's absolutely shallow to have gained the whole world but seemingly lost your soul in the process. That sometimes it's important to walk away, and all love stories don't have perfect happy endings. 

Edward and Bella taught me that you can find love in the most beastly horrors of this world. It's so unexpected, how can one even begin to trod the path of boredom.

Ron and Hermoine taught me that the guy doesn't always have to be charming and charismatic for you to fall for him. It's okay to break old stereotypes, because there's magic beyond sense. 

And last, but not the least, Lily and James Potter. Well, they are real poster children for what we call the concept of Love. They taught me that Love can be the most powerful thing in the world. But Only if it's true. The real true, that too. Amen. 

First Lessons

So life's not a fairy tale? So there is no Prince Charming? So you're no Snow White and all men are not the seven dwarfs? So you might not even be Shrek and Fiona? So there is no time for a perfect love story? So everyone isn't nice? So everyone you trust might not always be there for you? And everyone who trusts you might not always find you for themselves? So things fall apart? And you have to try to put it back even though it will never be the same? So you HAVE to move on? And whatever you're feeling right now may just eternally freeze in the moment? So some things can not be changed? And fate cannot be meddled with? So sometimes you just have to blindly walk ahead? So sometimes you have to risk it and live with possible regrets? So sometimes you have to risk it because that's what you want? So sometimes you have to fear and bawl in the dark when no one's looking? So sometimes it can be great and other times it can suck even harder? So bad things happen to good people? And evil men are stuck at war with an incredible fate? So you can be hell and heaven to one person, but you just have to live with the hell part? So there will be things are not going to permanent but we still strive to achieve perfection? So there's a Right and there's a Wrong, and then there are those feelings in the middle? So a constantly evolving life style is a monotonous routine but a stagnant one is even worse?

So there's definitely going to be failure? So a future is more about picking up the pebbles on the way than walking on a perfectly constructed road? So there's a 'Do Not' and a 'Not', and then there's a 'What do you want.'? So the people you communicate with are basically shaping you even if you don't give a rat's ass about them? So heart-breaks build you in a way nobody knows? And being able to conquer the fear of being hurt again is one of the most valiant acts you'll ever witness? So sometimes you burst out of the cocoon because you've been in it too long, regardless that you may go back into it again? So sometimes you hurt people consciously? So sometimes you want to fly. free from everything? So sometimes you realise what an emotional mess you are? So sometimes you'll want to be happy? You just won't know how. So sometimes you anticipate the unchangeable? So sometimes you want to get a hold of the intangible? So sometimes you want to die, or booze and sleep off forever. So sometimes you feel guilty, because you mean too much to someone? And sometimes you just don't mean enough. So sometimes you want to not let go, because as bad as it hurts, it hurts so damn good. So sometimes you have so much to say but then you just can't? So sometimes you'll want to erase the past, desperately? But want to keep the lessons you learned from them? So sometimes it's toxic as well as healing? So sometimes your question is your answer? So sometimes you crave for something you already have? So sometimes you look at those mean 'popular' kids and want to stand up? But you just don't. And when you look at them you realise they're popular only and only among themselves. So sometimes you are aware of every single throb and pulse in your anatomy? So sometimes you extend gratitude to God? So sometimes you get a reality check and it comes back more often, time and again? So sometimes you feel a great amount of scintillating animosity towards someone and you just don't know why you still carry it around? Because it's easy to let go off the past, what's difficult is the moving on part. 

So sometimes you just sigh, look at yourself in the mirror and rely on that unwavering faith, to wherever it may lead; a better place maybe.

Things one can't get over.

    ''Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.''

                                          -Gone With The Wind, 1936

                  

Introspection

There's this thing about tough times, you want to save them up. Not save them up so that you can mope forever but save them up in a very Harry Potter way. So that they exist. Forever and Always. It's not the pain but more of everything you feel because you feel a lot. Because all those other feelings apart from the hurt, remorse and anger are important.
It's easy to write about dark things. Oh, I agree. Being a writer, I just know how magical a pen and paper can be at times of utmost distress. I've heard a million view points about it too. But now that I think of it, I'm developing my own. You know how they say, don't make promises when your happy? It's because gloating in all that joy one is bound to not notice the reality. Being happy doesn't give you a chance to really figure out or think about anything. It's the simplest thing in the world to smile and bask in the merriment.

What's tough is experiencing the hard times. And that's when one digs into thoughts and habits one would normally neglect. Being happy is simple. But being low is strong. Being upset helps you understand yourself more and appreciate what you have even more. 

And it's just a cycle. Because every once in a while you need to be light-headed and happy too, compensating for that hard core thinking stuff I guess. 

Moonlight

The grass looked lush and green, it was early morning and the dew rested over it, just enough to feel the soothing coolness. Resting their heads upon it, on an early Monday morning, two girls chatted away. The gardener was not to arrive for his work and shoo them away for at least an hour. And a weekday symbolised tranquility, since most early morning joggers had to rush to work.
Their innocence plagued their tongues and imagination scintillated, darkening their morbid fears, just for a little while.
While the sky was convulsing it's way from bright and shiny to dark and gloomy, one girl whispered to the other, "I just want to be happy, you know."
"I know. Me too."
"I see people being sad. And they want to be doctors and all other great things. I just want to smile everyday. Do you think we'll ever be so?"
"I reckon we'll become Doctors and other great things. But that's that."
They were growing up. They just weren't aware of it.

And they never discussed it ever again. Just two friends. Parted ways. Grew from boisterous and unabashed to impervious and bottled up.
Maybe by now they know, being happy isn't really a phase or a marathon end. It's a mood.
And just like the moon, it's sometimes present wholly, sometimes partially. On cloudy days, it may not be seen at all. But it's still there. Hidden somewhere, it's moonlight; igniting hope and love through those vociferous storms.

You're a Wallflower. You see things and you understand them.

I just finished reading this book. It's called 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower'. The book's quite depressing, actually. At least if you're going through a transforming phase anyway. But it's nice, in an eerie way. 

People have probably seen the movie. It's good. Never as good as the book of course. 

They say it's a book about coming off age. But I don't think so. It's just about a 16-year-old boy, Charlie. His English teacher, Bill, gives him books to read and that secretly makes me wish that someone gave me books like that, you know. I think it makes a book a tad bit more interesting if someone has asked you to read it. But then again, perspective matters. 

There are these lines in the books. Some that really can be felt deeply at an instance. Like when Bill tells Charlie that 'We accept the love we think we deserve.' And then there are instances where Charlie simply says that 'in that moment I felt infinite'. I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I mean, I could explain it in terms of words but I think I am just searching for that feeling. It sounds special. 

Then there is this thing Charlie says, 'Even though we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from here.' 

As of now, I want to read the book again. I don't know if I will but I want to. 

It's an epistolary novel. Charlie writes these letters to some pen pal he doesn't know. So basically, it's just Charlie's insight of the entire world. He's a character portrayed more taciturn and socially awkward. Yet emotionally strong. Even though he cries a lot. It's inspiring. 

Weirdly, I could relate to it. Not that I feel exactly the way he does. But it's just that if I had to write that way, to somebody far off, somebody who would have an equivocal perspective to my thoughts, I think I would write that way. I think that's how I would sound. Digging in to every single detail and penning it down. 

We can't all pay attention to every detail, right? But I think subconsciously we all do. I mean, it's just a thing. Like if you had to select an ice-cream flavour, you'd go to the shop, pick up one and walk out but then the next day somebody decided to bombard you with the unrealistic nightmare of writing an essay on why you chose the particular ice-cream flavor. You'd be able to do it. Suddenly reasons would manifest like crystals in front of your eyes. So I guess, we notice a lot and understand simultaneously. We just have these walls we've truly build, for the sake of hypocrisy. 

That's what I choose to believe anyway.

Between June and July

This is such an old post. I remember composing it last year I guess. Just found it in my drafts. It's still as original and true as it seemed while I typed it out.

The wind swept across my face as I was sitting there watching the leaves move. This wind made chills run up my spine. Not because it was cold after a whole of 3 heated months but because this wind was bringing along with it a lot of new things.
A new season, new rains, new studies, new memories, new gossip, and most of all new people. Hopefully.
This wind reminded me of how my life takes a twist every year in this very month. Or at least around the same time. Between June and July. There is this extremely old pattern about my life. Every year April and May are the best months. I have a lot of fun in every way possible. And then as soon as May ends things start to wind up in a very outlandish manner. Something unexpected happens. Every year I meet some people and they drift apart. I have seen and heard enough to tag that as normal. But still, it surprises me how this very month brings out its best and worst and shoves it on the table and then it is my job to handle them both. My job is to handle the change. Yet again. Today I think I bid goodbye to a lot many anonymous people who I thank for indulging in my life and making things all the more interesting and intriguing
We won't always have them all in our life but from what I have learnt, when a box of cookies is over there is always a new flavor in the market!